Right at the beginning of its second week, this year is shaping up to be the year of realization. We spent a long time dreaming dreams in the past, and for reasons beyond our control we are (luckily) able to do many of the activities we wished to do last year but could not.
Over the past few years I have sacrificed small pieces of myself in my journey of self discovery: There were things that worked and others than did not, and in the end I was left with a relatively clear path where I can see what I like and what I do not.
A few years back I made up my mind to make some music of my own after an excess of concerts and festivals in the space of 2 years: For 2 years I kept my mind submerged in an ocean of music. I was writing music reviews for various sources (including a now defunct blog I ran with a friend), and was listening to something like 3 to 5 different albums every day. My schedule every day was basically the same: Wake up early to see what was new in the world and if Europe had it so I could get it, I would check my mail to see if any of my music orders had arrived, then encode everything to V0 VBR MP3 files, and load them into my ipod. Out of the albums I had I would pick one, listen to it once, then go somewhere while I listened to the others. On my way home I would start playing the album that I wanted to review, and then review it the moment I walked home. If my mood allowed, I would review another one of the albums that I had gotten that day.
This went on for months. I listened to so many albums that it made me sick — at one point my listening queue reached 23,000 songs. It was around this time that I decided to make music of my own, and ended up making something along the lines of 2 albums with around a hour and a half of Cybergrind (I will dig them out one day, but the time is not now). After that I moved on to a much more mellow note and toyed with the idea of making Futurepop of some sort.
Then along came a very hard time in my life, and then nothing. After nothing there was work, and after a few years I found myself where I am right now.
I am at one of the most creative moments of my life, with many a plan in front of me slowly becoming a reality. This has happened in other occasions, however, this time around I will allow myself not to give in to my silliness and I will not make any ultimatums.
No music shall be made just because I want to force myself to do it.
At the moment my main focus is keeping this blog alive, and use the storytelling and narrative that I pour into these posts into something much more dynamic… a Vlog of my own. When that will happen remains to be seen.
All in all, I am glad with the things I have done and the ones I have not. I will pick music making back up one day, but it is not this day.